fruity_freshy

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    • Name: Panipak
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 7/13/2006

Weblog

Saturday, 05 December 2009

  • I love you, DADDY!

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    Another year has passed...

    Don't matter what you are still my HERO...

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    ขอบคุณสำหรับความรักและความห่วงใยทุกๆครั้งที่มีให้มาตลอด

    ขอบคุณสำหรับกำลังใจ และ คำสอนที่คอยแนะนำ และชี้ทางเดิน

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    Even though we are not able to meet each other, our hearts still can reach each other~!!

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    Father's day is just a celebration and to remind us how we meant for each other.

    You know that I always love you!!!! ><

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    Happy Father's day, dad.

    You are the best dad in the world!!!!!!

    Love,

    Pear (แพร์)

Sunday, 15 November 2009

Monday, 28 September 2009

  • STRESS!!!!

    So much stress from school!!!!

    How could I focus everything at the same time!

    .....AH!!!!

    By the way, I am on youtube- same as Alice, Ava, Frank and Leiting...

    We went to UBC ice-breaking and ended up perform in front of other people! LOLZ!

    I am the one in purple jacket...Alice is in red and ava wears dress! ^^ It was a good time!!!

    Leiting and Frank!!!! SO FUNNY! LOLZ! GOOD JOB~GUYS!

    PS. Frank...you were so good!

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    Back to study again! AH! Kill me~.~!!!

Sunday, 20 September 2009

Monday, 07 September 2009

  • You were right about I always have problems, such as being a weak person.
    Somehow, I recognize myself as a pathetic person. I always get hurt, don't matter what.
    I always need your help, and perhaps I never repaid you back very well.
    I get hurt once you get hurt. Since things started to change, I wanted everything to be normal.
    I had tried my best to keep both of you together with me. It was a hard job especially when
    you left me a message in xanga before you left in the summer break.

    At the time, I did not know how to treat you anymore. I did not what I was supposed to do
    or even what to say to you. I know and I always have been knowing that you are suffering
    somehow. Even though you said you were okay or alright, I know you were not fine.
    Same reason with me, you did not want to be a bitch- neither did I.
    I tried to make things go smoothly for you, and I knew that my solution didn't work out well.
    You said you are working hard, and we are relaxing. You know that's not true at all.
    We have always been thinking about how to make you feel better because we know you
    are suffering and pretending that you are okay which you lie to us and yourself.

    Sometimes, you think if you can keep everything to yourself is the best solution because
    you don't want people around you to stop laughing because of your madness-
    that's what I always think...
    Somehow, I could not keep my emotions pretty well. I am tired as well. I am tired of trying to make
    things the same. Everything has been changed, and I have to admit that things have changed.
    I was confused, and now I still am. I didn't know what to say or how to say things to you anymore.
    When you were pissed, I felt gulity and tried to think what to make you feel better.
    I know that a meal would not solve everything but at least you were be able to laugh for a while.
    You might ask why we were doing that to you. Would you believe us that we did not mean to
    treat you like you don't feel anything. We cared like we always have more than you think.
    We rushed. We even to pay for taxi, don't matter how much it costed. I didn't want
    to make excuses to reduce the guilt I have made. We never meant to treat you like
    a boy. We know you have feelings like we do.

    We knew that we have made you pissed, and we regreted about it. I know that
    4 hrs and 30 mins is a long time for you to wait for us. You are important to us
    more than you think you are. Forgiveness is not what we were asking for you,
    but your happiness is what we want. 

    I am tired of acting strong. You were right about how weak I am.
    You said you are tired of acting strong--you know, same as me.
    You never replied my emails during summer time. Somehow, you said
    you were busy. I know you were busy but busy enough for didn't have
    time to reply an email back ? I lost my confidence to talk to you. I didn't know
    how things were anymore. There were a lot of things I wanted to share with you,
    but you had your own friends and your own world over there.

    When you phoned me to pick you up, I was happy. I wonder if things would
    be the same or would it actually change. You were helping me to move and
    all of that--I was grateful. However, when I walk between you guys, I have no
    idea how to balance our relationship. You asked for a fairness of this relationship-
    don't you think that I ask the same thing? What is your description for fairness?
    I dare to say I have tried to give you all my best. Meanwhile, my best was not
    good enough to give you what you asked for.

    I left on that day because even "you" did not want me to be there.
    I thought "your" room is the warmest place me to rely on when I needed something
    to depend on. I did not know your purpose for asking me to get off. Furthermore,
    you seemed like you were very pissed. So I guess you didn't want to talk or see me.
    I left because no one would care, even you. I felt helpness for not enable to help you
    to clean or cook. I thought the boys would be able to help you. Particularly, I was mad at
    myself, too.I know about me being pissed is a major problem. I should not be the one who was pissed.
    Ironic, right? You should be the one who got piss the most. Being abandoned by you guys is
    something that I can't handle either. However, I didn't want things to go worse after seeing
    you guys laughing and enjoying your jokes and conversations. So, I remained slient.

    You might say this solution sucks because I never said anything.
    It has been so hard for me to say what I actually feel or think. Over 10 years that
    I didn't say anything out to other people. Somehow, I thought speaking out loud
    would not change anything yet causing suffer to others. That's why I have decided
    to keep things to myself. You could say it's a lame excuse for you, but this is from my heart.

    I used to think that I would not be able to open my heart to have another best friend again.
    Finally, I have found you. You have a lot of  common things to share with me. To trust someone
    is a hard job for me because you never know who's lying to you for what purpose- gaining your trust and using you for hurting someone that you love.
    We came from different countries- different lauguages- different families- yet, we have met.
    I felt lucky and thankful for meeting you and opening myself more- bits by bits.
    I am sorry that I can't totally open myself to you, but I am trying very slowly.

    You can say I am the worst friend you never had. These few days I have been afraid of
    what would happen- just like the day before. I know that one day we would not be able
    to hold our conflicts. May be the word 'sorry' from me won't change anything between
    us but at least it's the best word I could find to say to you.

    I never know what to gain from friendship. I thought if my friends are happy, then
    I would be happy. Whenever you are pissed, I try not to argue back because
    I don't want things to get worse. I just want you to be happy. Even though you said
    you are too tired for always being there for me, or you don't have enough patience,
    or you said this is unfair--then I would say thank you for being there for me when
    I needed someone to talk to. Thank you for your patience that you were staying with me
    even you were suffering somehow. Lastly, I am sorry about unfairness that I have been
    given you which I never wanted it to happen.

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Chatboard (5)

  • fruity_freshy
    @Angelina215 - nice to meet you, too ^^
  • Angelina215
    hi there! thanx 4 adding me
  • fruity_freshy
    @namkido91 - T^T I am trying to..but it's so sad... Hey, do u know the song called "If All The Love Was Accepted in The World" by Lee Hyori? I really like this song http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=akSNDeBlNi0, if u have can u plz give it to me? THX kk... take care
  • namkido91
    hahaha it u had fun at the park? kk i wants to go there too ^^..=.= anyways only 2days left !!! that's really really sucks.!!! keep the all the good memories from canda!! kk ^^
  • namkido91
    kkk ok~ la kk i miss u guys too!! espeacial mandy!! KK ^^ take care twin!!